Inspired by Slavoj Žižek’s ‘translation’ of Ephesians 6:12 as “Our Struggle is not against actual corrupt individuals, but against those in power in general, against their authority, against the global order and the ideological mystification which sustains it” (Living in the End Times, xv), the below is a retelling of the Nativity story, leading into the rest of the Christ-narrative. The purpose of the retelling is to encourage the Christian church to continue at its attempt to reform the Christmas holiday, with the belief that along with a reform of praxis we need to reform our tellings of foundational narrative for the birth of Christ based in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke.

            Hey, you wanna hear a story about a middle eastern man born under the under the reign of a puppet ruler by the installation of the dominant Global super power, to a teenage girl whose fiancé knows the child is not his. This person was born at a time when there were mass social upheavals of insurrectionists striving to over-throw Roman occupation. His birth was attended by a bunch guys, who probably stole things because their job was cleaning up after sheep poop, and foreigners from an enemy territory who followed the irrational signs of the stars. He was born in a stable home, though hardly the kind of stable we would hope for. He was quite literally raised in a barn, and it was probably the reason for like lack of manners toward those in authority. The puppet ruler was having none of this and massacred the children in this middle eastern village where the child was born (which is now a Palestinian territory), so as to make sure that he stayed in power, Imageand he also probably suspected these foreigners of backing the rebels to overthrow him as a challenge to the dominant Global Super power. Well the child escaped to Egypt (ya, cause there’s the place to go if you want peace!), which incidentally is exactly where some of his ancestors were massacred and expelled from, so you can imagine how  uncomfortable it was given the ethnic tension. Eventually, once the puppet ruler had died, and his three sons were given separate parts of the kingdom, according to the dictates of the dominant Global Super power…the child returned to his homeland, to hangout in a little nothing ghetto to do the same job his father did. Often he would travel to the ‘big city’, Sepphoris, and get a glimpse of the lives of the wealthy and exotic. Education opportunities were rare, so there was no real way to come up in the world, so he probably just hungout with his family and all the same people he had grown up with for years. In fact, he even had a cousin, John, who was a rowdy political activist with a strange meatless diet, and known for causing trouble for the puppet ruler (calling him out on his terrible marriage ethics).

           Despite being a great student this child would probably just be counted among all the other gangsters from his neighbourhood. After all…the Global dominant Super Power thought to itself…”He’s from the same class and ethnicity whose land we raped for taxes and natural resources, he’s probably not gonna like us very much, and in fact we better parade his death out in public just so the rest of the world knows not to mess with us.” Well sure enough, this child would grow up to protest the ruling class of his country as essentially being no better than being children of the devil, to protest the financial order as essentially robbing the people, and hangout with all the people they expected him too [you know, those hookers, homeless people, and drunks]. He told stories about the coming collapse of the social-political order, that the end of history had not come with the spread of the peace of the Caesars or the local powers that had catered to them, but instead would come with the arrival of the ‘Son of Man’….whatever that meant. He by-passed all the self-help gurus and tricksters when he healed people, and demand no insurance, or even recognition, if you can believe it. He performed many other ‘signs’ like spreading the wealth so that everyone could eat, or raising the dead. So they put him to death (because you know, we can’t have that happening!!!), and in a shameless manner paraded how they thought he was so righteous, without fault, though they were his executioners. They mocked him, and even sold off his possessions. They gave him the death penalty and advertised it to all. Oh, and one last thing, his followers afterward didn’t look for a successor to the movement, because [they claimed] he was still alive, and in fact reigned in the sphere of reality that really determines how things are really going to run. They celebrated this in underground cities over a good meal, wine, and a bath. Guess they wanted to start something everyone could be a part of. Guess who this was?*


* Hopefully readers will catch all the present day political allusions and subversions 😉